mufkinisaloser

So this creeped me out a little.

Mark, my nurse practitioner who takes care of my therapy and is currently helping me prepare for WLS and has had WLS himself had to cancel 2 appointments with me.
One was just for a week, so I figured he was just tired from the WLS and needed a week off. Next thing I know, Frank (his secretary guy) calls, my mom answers, and Mark won't be able to see me until Jusly. My mom asks if it's because of the surgery, and Frank pauses, because he's really not supposed to say anything, but because we're there every two weeks or so, and because I'm getting ready to have WLS, he says yes.
So I'm left wondering what's wrong, so I think, "oh! I'll go check his WLS diary."



"June 25, 2006 - WEll I just got home from the hospital. 2 days after Ihad the cramping attack ( see June 19th entry) I had another. Howeverthis time it was ten times more severe.
Wednesday evening I went to bed at around 10pm, felt fine. I awokesuddenly at 2 am in excruciating pain. Waves of intense stomach colicand violent dry retching. The pain was like something I have neverencountered. I called 911 and was rushed to St. Joseph's hospital herein Hamilton. They rushed me right into a criticial care room but afterwhat seemed like an hour wait I finally saw the MD and he quicklydiagnosed something serious. An IV was started and after some morphineand Buscapan I was feeling the pain come under control. I had X-rays,blood work and a CT scan. The CT showed a total intestinal obstruction.They even consulted with Dr. Kam in Michigan who happened to be on callthat night. The surgeon felt it was too risky to wait and so I had anopen reduction of a Peterson's internal hernia within two hours.Apparently this type of hernia is not common (2-3% generally withRNY's) and is caused by protrusion of a bowel loop through the tunnellmade in the tranverse mesentary for tehe passage of the Roux limb. Theyinitially tried to do the repair laparoscopically but the bowel was toofragile and it had to be converted to an open. Dr. Dath the surgeon,and his fellow, Dr. Gupta, and the entire perioperative team wereexcellent. I spent two days in the surgical ICU with an NG tube,arterial line, two IV's, Foley cather, and an array of other monitoringcables and wires. I then went to the surgical floor for another day andcame home today. Now that I no longer have a morphine pump my incisionhurts like the dickens, liquid codeine just ain't the same. Definitelya major setback but in a few weeks I should back on track."


Yeah. Whoa. Yeah.

I shouldn't have read that. Reading it from people I don't know puts it in perspective. I understand the risks. But when that happens to someone you know, that really scares the crap out of you.
Like I said. It's not like I didn't know the risks before. I do. I get it. I've heard of it happening. That scared me enough. It always made me think, "what if that happened to me?" But now it's right in front of me. My own NP. Someone who's medical care I'm under. That just... wow.

I saw Mark today. He looks great after his WLS.

I told him I wanted Gastric Bypass. I told him I wasn't going to change my mind. I had talked to those closest around me, and we've all decided it's for the best.

He went through a lot of things with me. So much that my mind is spinning.

He thinks that OHIP will approve me.

The only thing I have to do before I file is choose a clinic and doctor. He suggested Michigan (where he went), or Rochester.
Tough decision. I think Rochester is closer, but I've heard more about Michigan, and Michigan is a much shorter wait for surgery.

WHAT SUCKS is that I have no transportation. None. Zip. My mom has her liscence suspended. My dad wouldn't drive all that way. I don't know who else I could ask. I can't afford all the bus trips.
I don't know how to deal with all of this.

If I had the transportation, I could probably have the surgery done and over within the next 6-9 months.

http://www.canada.com/ottawacitizen/news/story.html?id=ec22dbd0-8050-421a-b5d6-b7cb7a115518&k=3904

So I show up for my appointment today at 4:30 like I'm supposed to. Mark had left. I was sent over to Frank. Frank says he told me 4pm. I said no you didn't. He said yes I did. I said no he didn't.

He said he couldn't reschedule me with Mark right away because he was having surgery, but he could book me with my family doctor. He asked me what I was seeing Mark for. I told him Bariatric surgery. Frank started laughing.
Apparently Mark expects to be back to work in 3 weeks. Wow. So I'm just going to wait until he comes back.
I think that would be best anyway, because ya know, he could come back and say, "NO! DON'T DO IT!" hahah

I think this actually worked out for the better, because now I get a first hand account, from my nurse practitioner, who I have a good relationship with, who's JUST had the surgery, to help me out.
PERFECT.

Now I'm really excited. This works out great.

Appointment with Nurse Practitioner Mark on Friday. 4:30pm. Nervous.
He's having his own surgery the next week in Michigan. His girlfriend had it a few weeks ago as well.

What happens if I have out of country surgery and something happens when I get home? Is my hospital prepared for that? They weren't even prepared for the complications that came after my gall bladder came out.

They're sending us to the U.S. for surgery now. A different country. A totally different country. My dad's coverage will allow one parent to be with me for one night while I have a surgery. One night.
What if something happens after my parent (probably my mom) leaves? What if my dad can't get to me? What if Geoff can't get to me?
I'm not afraid of dying. I'm afraid of nobody being there and not forgiving themselves. Or something stupid. Does that make sense? I'm not trying to sound self-involved. That's not what I mean.
Just... what if?

So this is pretty cool.

I was going through the local "what's going on in Niagara" section in my newspaper just to, ya know, see what's going on, and I saw this thing called Coast-to-Coast Calorie Counters.
So I thought I'd give them a call and see what they're all about.
I guess every Monday night they meet and go over foods eaten, there's a nutritionist on hand that tells you what you can substitute for something iffy you ate, to something better. You also fill out a doctor paper thingie, and from that they figure out how many calories a day you need to take in to lose weight.
Through the summer they do weigh-ins, but only in the summer. Not sure what the point of that is though.

It's $40 to join, $2.50 a week. $2 because they have to rent the room it takes place in, and $.50 goes into a draw or something like that.

And the best part is, it's at my old church, which is just a walk away, although... I don't think I'll be walking for a while.

I'm really excited about this! It's in a place where I've been many times, and I'm very comfortable with. I'm a little nervous about being around new people, so I'm hoping Geoff will join too. That would really help. But the lady I talked to sounded very nice, and quite excited to be talking to me, so I think I'll be okay.

I'm really really nervous, anxious, excited. Now I have to wait for Monday to come. heh.

I'm not very healthy right now, and it's because of my weight.
Every person in my family who has died has died from heart failure, and I refuse to be one of those people. Not at the age of 24.
Don't get me wrong. I'm proud of who I am. I love large women. I love every curve of their bodies, even my own. This isn't about vanity. It's my health at risk.

So I'm starting this journal over. When I began this journal I was coming down from being 370 pounds. Right now my weight is under 300 pounds.

I'm going to request to see a nutritionist, and hope to get some support from some of my friends out there... (hint hint... that's you).
I very much welcome opinions. I even welcome kicks in the ass. I just need my health back.